


My neighbor "Captain Cold"

by Fuckdarcy



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Awkward Conversations, Awkward!Barry, Barry Isn't the Flash, Captain Cold is a nickname, Lisa is unapologetic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:38:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7056592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuckdarcy/pseuds/Fuckdarcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*My neighbors sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident au*<br/>Lisa barges in and accidentally thinks Barry is Len's one night stand. Plot twist - hes definitely not. No Powers, just nicknames.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My neighbor "Captain Cold"

Barry Allen’s life was almost perfect – he had a good job at the police station, Joe and Iris to see on the weekends when he came over for dinner, and Cisco and Caitlin to go out with after work and talk about the density of bionuclear mass versus the structure of the atomic frequency.

His apartment building was small and in a reasonably good neighborhood, because, “No Joe for the last time I’m not staying in your house anymore, it’s weird.”  
He’d lived there for nearly a month now, made friends with the old batty lady downstairs who claimed to be a fortune teller, only caused one minor fire, and had never had the pleasure of running into his asshole neighbor.

  
Said asshole neighbor always had his A/C on to high and the cold seeped through the walls and into Barry’s apartment. He always played Vanilla Ice to loud way too early in the morning and he was always mysteriously missing whenever Barry went over to yell at him about it. His mailbox didn’t even have a name on it, it had ‘Captain Cold’ written in a flowery script that Barry somehow doubted was his neighbors handwriting or idea.  
And as Barry Allen sat in his brightly lit kitchen at six in the morning, eating a bowl of cereal, hair still looking like he’d just rolled out of bed and shivering from the cold seeping in from under the walls; he figured things wouldn’t be changing anytime soon.

  
“Lenny! Where the fuck are you, you asshole!” A woman’s angry voice cut through the quiet of Barry’s third floor apartment, accompanied by a door slamming against a wall.  
“Mick told me your new address! Don’t think I can’t find you brother dear!”  
Barry almost fell out of his chair as he tripped over the metal leg, jumping in fright at the sudden loud voice.

He spun around to face the source of the voice - a girl stood in his doorway, a girl who looked like she was angry enough to stab him with her high heeled boots. Her hair tumbled around her leather clad shoulders and a sneer puckered her mouth.

  
“Um…hi?” Barry asked in a small voice, trying not to startle her as she glared at him.  
The woman advanced on him slowly, eyeing his ruffled hair and loose sleep shirt.This is how I die, Barry thought, eyes locked on the woman. I forgot to lock my front door and a hot chick decides to murder me with a shoe in my own home.  
“Where’s Lenny pretty boy?” the woman asked slowly, eyes sweeping the apartment with a critical eye.  
Barry blinked at the question.

  
"Ex- Excuse me?” he coughed out, eyes still wide in shock.  

“Len? Lenny? Leonard?” the girl whipped out a bunch of names Barry had no idea what to do with. “My brother.” She stated slowly, though that clarified nothing, “Where. Is. He.”

Barry’s mouth gaped open, “Uh…who?”

The girl rocked back on her heels, face going from angry to pitying in a snap. “Oh you poor thing. I’d just sneak out now then if you can’t even remember his name.” she tutted. Barry’s mouth snapped closed and he could feel his neck heating up in embarrassment. Did she thing he was a one night stand? In his own house? The fuck was going on?

“I’m sorry who are you? And what are you doing in my apartment?” Barry asked the girl quickly, straightening his shoulders and trying to put on an air of authority.  
The girl blinked once, then her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.  
 “Your apartment?” she glanced at him then to the door she’d just walked through. Then, with a narrow of her eyes, she backed up, not taking her eyes of Barry, until she was outside his door. She glanced at the number on his open apartment door.

  “Oh shit.”

  
The girl’s suspicious frown was replaced by an apologetic smile, she pressed her lips together while taking only one step back inside the room. “Wow, I am so sorry pretty boy, I got the numbers mixed up. My brother lives next to you and I just barged in without looking – I’m really sorry.”  
She twisted her hair with a finger and tilted her head, watching him through her eyelashes.

Barry shook his head, trying to clear the residual confusion. “Um, no it’s fine. Just…confusing for a second there. It’s totally fine.”

  
The girl smiled brightly at his words, “Good then. Oh, and sorry for thinking you were – well, you know.” Barry felt his cheeks heat up now and he glared at the girl. She smirked.  
“To be fair you are exactly his type so I wasn’t just assuming to assume. I’m Lisa. Lisa Snart.” She held out a hand, fingers glinting with golden rings, and Barry quickly stuck out a hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you Lisa, or something like nice anyway.” He replied, “I’m Barry.”   

“And sassy too!” Lisa exclaimed, looking much too happy about one sly comment. “You’ve got to meet my brother sometime – he’d just adore you.”  
  

“Uh…” Barry didn’t know what to do with that comment so he just kept standing there, looking at her.  
“It was lovely to meet you, pretty boy, but I’ve gotta go kick my brothers ass real quick.” Lisa gestured to the wall that separated the two apartments and Barry nodded dumbly. “Um, sure. Have fun with that.”  
  

Lisa smiled, all teeth and anger, “Oh I will Barry. I will.” She stalked out of Barry’s apartment and rounded on his neighbor’s door. Barry followed her to the door and into the hall, more curious to see what this girl would do next then interested in finishing his breakfast.  
Lisa tried the door handle, but, unsurprisingly, it didn’t move. Apparently Barry was the only one dumb enough to leave his door unlocked.  
“Lenny…” Lisa called through his neighbor’s door, rapping twice on the wood with her knuckles. “Oh Lenny…”

“Wait.” Barry hissed out the word, glancing between the apartment door and the girl, it just now dawning on him that – “You’re Captain Colds sister?”  
Lisa grinned, “I’m so glad that nickname caught on. I knew it would. And yes I am. Is he rude to you too, pretty boy?” she asked, voice dropping to whisper conspiratorially with him.

Barry was opening his mouth to reply when the door swung open, and for the first time Barry got a proper look at his arch nemesis.  
Well, less of a proper look and more of a face full of blue parka and fur.

“ _Lisa_.”

The voice from behind the hood of fur was a deep drawl that Barry immediately told himself he hated, no matter how nice it actually was.

Lisa sneered. “Jerk.”

“Trainwreck.”

Barry made a face that was half confusion half disgust. “Is that how you talk to each other? Because I have a sister and we don’t usually –”

“And who, are you?” The deep drawl Barry definitely hated now, cut through his little rant and “Captain Cold” turned to face Barry for the first time. A small smirk graced his mouth and his eyes were…  
Barry lost train of thought.  
His eyes were clever and deep and sad and so, so blue. Pale skin and pink lips and a strong jaw. A deep widow’s peak that just somehow worked with his whole aesthetic, and Barry just kept on looking.

“Look what you did Len, you broke him. I liked this one too.” Lisa’s voice shook him awake and he jerked his gaze away from the man and onto the floor.

“Hmm. You must be Barry Allen. It’s good to meet you, finally.”

“Yeah. Finally.” Barry mumbled back, stepping back into his own apartment. Hell, he could feel the blush creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks. Fuck this. Staring, probably drooling, over his arch nemesis on their first meeting isn’t how Barry Allen rolls okay. “I gotta go. Nice to meet you Lisa.”  
And Barry shut his door.

“Great, nice one Lenny.” Lisa hissed from behind the door, not going for discreet, but more scathing. “You scared the nerd off. I liked him! Smart is sexy you know.”  
“Lisa, come in.” Len’s voice wasn’t an offer but a demand.

As Barry heard his neighbor’s door snap closed and Lisa’s final parting “Holy shit its cold in here!” before she was cut off, he sighed and leaned against the door.  
Damn.  
Captain Cold was hot.  
He was cold – but hot.

“What is my life…?” Barry moaned, pushing off the door and making his way back to the kitchen. His cereal was now lumpy and soggy and Barry just set the bowl down in the sink instead of finishing it.  
Barry’s phone rang from the table in the other room and Barry rushed to get it.

“Barry, my man, you ready?” Cisco Ramone’s voice rang through the phones tiny speaker, bubbly and excited as always.  
“Am I ever ready?” Barry asked, making his way to his bedroom to put on his work clothes. He checked his watch and spend up a little. How was it already 6:45? That’s not possible. “I guess that means no! But that’s why I gave you an extra ten minutes by setting your watch fast! Its only 6:35! Hurry your butt up!” Cisco promptly hung up on him, cackling with delight.  
“I need new friends.” Barry complained while he tugged his button up shirt over his head without undoing anything.

Ten minutes later and Barry was ready, keys in hand and bag over his shoulder the lanky boy made his way out the door and into his hallway.  
He locked his door and turned to run down the hall but skidded to a halt, almost crashing face first, into Leonard Snart.

“Snart!” Barry exclaimed, stumbling backwards.

  
Len looked him over with a careful eye and seemed to consider him. “Barry!” he replied in the same surprised tone, but a lot dryer. He was smirking. The big blue parka he’d been wearing earlier that morning had been taken off and now he wore a tight black turtleneck instead.  
  

Barry didn’t stare this time. Really.  
“Uh, sorry, I gotta go to work. Sorry for this morning!” Barry smiled sheepishly at the man and moved to walk around him, but Len stepped in his path.  
“My sister told me what she did this morning. I wanted to apologize for her. I know she doesn’t do it herself.” His tone was clipped and short, but amused none the less, and Barry could see he was having fun with Barry’s flustered appearance.

Barry was blushing again. He knew that much. “Uh, yeah it’s no problem. She seems nice.”  
Len smirked, mouth twisting. “Nice is not a word used to describe my sister, Scarlet.”

Barry eyed the man, frowning at the new nickname. “Right. Well I really gotta go so…”

Barry made another move to walk around Snart, but the man simply moved in front of him again.

“I was wondering…Barry, if you’d be willing to go out sometime.”

Barry froze.  
  What.  
   What?  
    “What?”

  
Captain Cold raised an eyebrow.  
“Go out, on a date. With me.”  
Barry’s mouth opened and closed.  
“My sister wasn’t wrong you know – you are my type.”

  
 Barry somehow managed to find words. “I am? – how? Why?” the brown haired boy sputtered out, “What? Who told you – How do you even know I’m gay!?”

Captain Cold smiled indulgently at him which made Barry squirm. With what exactly, he didn’t know.  
“Lisa said you were.” Was all Snart answered to that. Barry huffed. “And you’re just going to take her word for it?”

“I’m genuinely hurt Barry! I’m always right.”  
Barry leaned around Len’s body to see Lisa standing at the end of the hallway with – what the hell was Cisco doing here?! Cisco waved with the arm that wasn’t currently being held captive by Lisa. “Hey Bar, came up to get you but then she stopped me and told me that you were having a moment so…uh…sorry?”  
Lisa smiled at Cisco like he was an adorable puppy she’d just found on the street and Barry knew that Cisco wasn’t going to get away from this one.

Barry leaned back to face Len, raising an eyebrow. “Were we having a moment?” he asked sarcastically. Captain Cold shrugged one shoulder, smirking meanly.  
   “Maybe.”  
  

“You were. Trust me.” Lisa said slyly from the end of the hall. “Come on Cisco, let’s leave these two alone. Tell me all about this job of yours, you must be so smart…”  
Lisa’s voice disappeared down the hallway, Cisco in tow.

  
"So about that date…” Len started again, voice low.  
“Yes.”  
  

Len raised both eyebrows but his face remained unchanged. Barry met Len’s eyes, “I mean, yes I’d like to go out with you.”  
Len smiled softly.  
“Good. I know this great bar…”

Len leaned against the wall as Barry’s watch ticked on. He’d be late for work yes, but with Len’s eyes on him and a date for the evening, he figured he’d be okay.


End file.
